I’ve been meaning to write about my daughters open adoption with her birth mom since I started this blog, but I can’t really bring myself to do so.
Today K has a visit, as we do most weeks since we live in the same town. I love birth mom, and she’s doing great with her second child, K’s half sister.
Since she has a sibling, that alone would be enough reason to continue visits, but I also keep the adoption open because I feel it will be best for K in the long run.
For me though, I’m always a bit weirded out.
K looks a lot like birth mom, laughs like her and has the same mannerisms, but it is me she runs to yelling Mommy Mommy when she falls or wants to show off. (most of the time).
Birth mom and I share a special treasure – our daughter. Not sharing as in custody or co-parenting, and certainly not responsibility.
This is sharing in the largest, grandest Spiritual sense. No matter how much I wish that K was my birth daughter it will never be so. No matter how much birth mom wished for a different outcome, it will never be.
And so once a week we get together and visit and navigate these strange emotional waters.
Additional Resources from Amazon:
Open Adoption Experience: Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families – From Making the Decision Throug
Children of Open Adoption and Their Families
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I was with one of my goddaughters at her adoption and I have admired her adoptive mother for understanding identity. I helped my aunt unseal her records. Knowing oneself is very important and she will be blessed in ways that sealed adoptions prevent.
We have an open adoption, too, and it’s been a blessing for us. I wanted to invite you to check out the support site I created, too: http://www.openadoptionsupport.com
hi Dawn, I remember you from your blog, thiswomanswork.com – Nice to have you visit!
Hi, this must be incredibly hard for both you and the birth mom and incredibly rewarding. How do you think things will be when your child is old enough to understand what’s going on?
She knows what is going on, but we’ll see how she handles it as she grows older!
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Wow its really amazing how you handle it. And its good that you also give the chance to know your adopted child her birth mom. Because I know if someone who has adopted a child but they never let the child know their real parents…
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